Another Twist to add to the Mix

So just when I thought things were “status quo”, and things were going to be a certain way, life throws another curve ball.

I went to see the one guy I’ve been seeing for a while now.  Not my 9 1/2 weeks guy, but Mr. S, that’s what I’m going to call him to clarify.

So Mr. S  is SO nice and sweet and cute and great and all, but I never thought that anything was really going to come of it.

And I still don’t know if something WILL come out of it.

But this I DO know.  Mr. S, says it’s more than just sex to him.

Dang……

Of course this is what I was hoping for, jut never pushed anything about it.

I told him from the start, I have no expectations.

Now, as to what that phrase EXACTLY entails?  I don’t now.

But I do know he likes me.

And I like him.

And things seem fine just the way they are.

He likes me for me.  He lets me be me.  He has a life he is living.  And I have a life I am living.   And right now?  For that part, I feel at peace.  No worries, you know?

So now, what to do about Mr. 9 1/2 weeks?  (Let’s call him Mr. 9 from now on).

That deep, dark down world of uninhibitions is still there.

But I want to focus on Mr. S.    And I don’t want to hurt Mr. S.  And I like taking it slow with Mr. S.

There are pros and cons to both Mr. S and Mr. 9.

Why can’t I just roll them all up into one guy?

I think I know what I need to do.  I need to let Mr. 9 know that I can’t be his “fuck buddy”.     I don’t want to hurt Mr. S.   Now, granted, there is always that chance that I could pull it off and continue with both Mr. S and Mr. 9 and none would be the wiser, but really, do I NEED that in my life right now?  No, not so much.  Mr. 9 is going to have to stay as Mr. “Friend 9”.  Besides, he is going through a lot and I, honestly, just don’t want to be involved in all that,  I don’t want to be involved with someone, other than a friend, who is having some major emotional issues he is dealing with.

Oh, and then there is Mr. C.    The one who I’ve liked for so long.  The one who, as for now, are “just friends”.  The one who I am SOOOOO comfortable with.  The one who makes me laugh.  The one who I think could be the one.

Well, life sure isn’t dull, that’s for damn sure.

I just need to make sure I keep on the right path.   Where that is?  I haven’t a clue right now, but as long as I know what’s important to me, that will help me along my journey.

But damn, that underworld gets tempting……….

~ by midge10 on April 9, 2011.